How Do You Know if You’re in Perimenopause or Menopause?

So, you’re a menopause coach?

Everywhere I go, the same thing happens.
As soon as people find out I’m a menopause coach, they start talking to me about symptoms. Sometimes it’s a friend wondering if that sudden warm rush is a hot flush (possibly yes!). Other times it’s fatigue, brain fog, or just a sense that “something feels off.”

So, last Saturday, I was at a friend’s barbeque. The rain was holding off and despite the clouds, burgers were sizzling, and people were mingling. The garden and enviable open plan kitchen extension was filled mostly with women in the age range between late 40s and mid 50s. I chatted to a lot of new people and introduce myself “I used to be an art teacher , now I work part-time in adult education, and I retrained as a personal trainer, strength coach… and menopause coach…”

Cue clogs tick quickly as they laser focus on the “menopause”. Suddenly I’m surrounded by people asking me about their symptoms. Later, I’m taken to the side for a quiet word… “Is this…menopause”

This happens everywhere I go. And honestly? I love it. Because it means people are curious, open, and ready to talk about something that’s been hush-hush for far too long.

It feels worrying that although it’s being suggested that we ‘shush’ now about menopause, that it’s being spoken about enough, that intelligent confident people are still missing out on that valuable information and questioning themselves…That questioning, and confusion could be a symptom. That desire to leave your partner, or job…could be another symptom.

Wait…is this menopause or just a weird week?

Here’s the truth:
Lots of things can be down to perimenopause. If you’re around my age (I’m 46), a bit younger, or a bit older, then those strange little symptoms might well be linked to hormonal shifts. BUT here’s the important part.  If you’re dealing with extreme fatigue, unexplained pain, or symptoms that don’t feel right, please don’t just write it off as menopause. Go and speak to a doctor. Rule out other causes. Your health is too important.

Signs you might be in perimenopause or menopause

Everyone’s experience is different, but here are some common signs:

• Changes in your periods (heavier, lighter, shorter, longer, less regular…inconsistent, unpredicatable)

• Hot flushes or night sweats

• Trouble sleeping

• Mood swings, anxiety, or low mood

• Brain fog or forgetfulness

• Fatigue that doesn’t shift with a good night’s sleep

• Weight changes or body shape shifts

• Joint aches or muscle soreness

• Changes in skin, hair, or libido

Some women experience just a few. Others get hit with the whole lot. And it doesn’t matter how “healthy” your lifestyle is. Don’t let people shame you into seeking medical help or support from a coach like me.

Menopause is officially defined as going 12 consecutive months without a menstrual period. The time leading up to this is called perimenopause, and the phase after is known as postmenopause. Together, these stages make up what’s known as the menopause transition—a natural, but often bumpy, hormonal journey.

Why i talk about this everywhere

Back to that barbecue. Once people found out I was a menopause coach and sober, the floodgates opened. Everyone had a story. Everyone had a question.

And I don’t mind one bit, I get it. I went through early menopause myself and felt completely lost. I was too young (or so I thought), and too confused. That experience is exactly why I do what I do now.

I also quit drinking around the same time. For me, the anxiety and depression alcohol brought on simply wasn’t worth it anymore. Becoming alcohol-free was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made for my mental and physical health and it’s something I share openly, because it’s all part of my story.

You’re not alone

If you’ve noticed changes in your body, your mood, or your energy, and you’re wondering “is this perimenopause?”, you’re not alone.  You don’t have to figure it out by yourself, and you definitely don’t need to suffer in silence.

Speak to your doctor. Reach out for support. And if you’d like help making sense of the changes, whether that’s through movement, nutrition, or lifestyle strategies, I’m here for you.

👉 If you’re ready to start feeling more like yourself again, let’s chat. Book a free 15 minute call